56th wedding anny and death of a child

Keith and I drove to Collinsville, MS to visit his mom and become diversions for the life events she would experience with her husband, Jesse (deceased January 12, 2008).  She tries to carry on but as anyone knows who has lost a loved one, it’s a minute by minute survival diagnosis.  Sunday, December 18, her son Kelly would have been 53 years old. He was born and died the same day.  Remember the joy of your first born?  The wonder, miracle of all miracles?  A love so sweet, simple, deep and dear you would throw yourself in front of a moving train or bullet to save that child?  Then remember losing your brother or sister, mother or father.  Death is the great equalizer.  A miracle of sorts.  Yet it is one miracle we’d just as soon drop on a hot stove.  It’s an empty bottomless cistern, yet a promiseful event.  One day we will see the loved one in Heaven.  Imagine experiencing the joy of birth and tragedy of death in the same few hours?  I can only remember a joyful birth of my son, but nothing so crippling as losing him in the same moment.  December 19 would have been her 56 wedding anniversary with Jesse.  A loving kind man missed every day by his family.  But there is memory of a great relationship.  The loss of a memory that had not been made by Kelly, returns void.  There was no lasting relationship.  Just a willowing smoke.  A fresh smell, baby’s breath, and new soft, soft skin.  Then nothing.  He’s gone.  Every year Marilynn visits the grave and sobs uncontrollably.  This year, however, we were there and she didn’t want to visit Kelly’s grave.  Not to say she didn’t go after we left.  All family can do is pray we were enough this year.  She simply enjoyed our company, as we did hers.  Laughter truly a grand cure for melancholy.

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